


Throw Your Arrows

by mcpofife



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Banter, M/M, Meet-Cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 15:38:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5791099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcpofife/pseuds/mcpofife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis agrees to come meet Zayn's coworker. He meets an annoying, overconfident (extremely fit) guy first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Throw Your Arrows

Louis wasn’t fond of being set up, but he’d said yes when Zayn had texted him earlier asking if he wanted to grab a beer with him and his coworker. He hadn’t even asked many questions. _What does he look like?_

And Zayn being Zayn, answered, _Fit_. 

_Ok, fit how?? Describe. Interests?? Personality?? Email me photos (face, body, dick), 500 word bio & copy of recent STI test results & I’ll consider it._

All he’d gotten in reply was, _Dork_ and _Lyons Pub @ 7_

He’d tried calling to get more details, but Zayn had picked up on the third ring and said, “Bro, I’m trying to wrap up so I can leave. You’ll meet him in a couple hours, like. He’s great, promise.” 

“Alright, fine,” Louis said. “Is he at least funny?” 

“He’s great. Just give him a chance, yeah? If you don’t like him, no worries,” Zayn said. “But I gotta go, mate. You coming?” 

It was no secret that Louis’ last few dates hadn’t gone well, and his friends were probably sick of hearing him bitch about not having a boyfriend. He wouldn’t consider himself desperate just yet, but maybe it was time to stop being so picky and expand his horizons. Zayn usually had good taste in men, and it was either go meet this guy or sit at home with his Playstation, so he figured what the hell. “Yeah, okay,” he’d said, and Zayn said, “Cool, bro,” and hung up on him. 

He’d made a brief stop by his flat to change out of his work clothes, but it seemed he’d still beaten them to the pub. He sat at the bar and scanned the room one last time before facing the wall and pulling out his phone to amuse himself until they showed up. A bit antisocial, but he wasn’t there to be hit on by random guys – not tonight, anyway. 

He had a few texts from his mum, so he was reading those when some guy came up behind him and asked, “Hi, um, are you here with someone?” 

He rolled his eyes and didn’t bother turning around. He couldn’t stand guys with no banter. _Try to be at least halfway clever_ , he wanted to say, but instead he said, “Yeah.” 

As if it were any of his bloody business, the guy said, “Who?” 

So Louis said, “My boyfriend.” 

“Your boyfriend?” 

He typed a reply to his mum, waiting until after he hit send to say, “Yes.” 

The dude still didn’t take the hint. “Are… you sure?” 

Louis spun around on his stool, annoyed and exasperated. “Yes, I’m _sure_ I have a boyfriend.” 

And… _oh_. The annoying dude was _fit as fuck_. Completely his type, with dark curly hair and big green eyes, and dimples framing his charming grin when he asked, “How long have you had that problem?” 

A little _too_ charming and confident, really, considering Louis had just told him that he was taken. “I don’t consider him a problem, but you might.” 

The curly-haired twat made a show of looking at the empty stool next to Louis. “Well, if he’s not here now, then I don’t see a problem.” 

Louis scanned the pub again, this time spotting his friend Niall sitting at a table across the pub, and practically leapt from his stool in triumph. “Actually, he’s right over there!” 

Curly-twat followed his gaze. “Oh, I see.” He still looked entirely too smug, so Louis took great pleasure in sauntering off without another word. 

He sat at the table and said, “Hey, how long have you been here?” 

“Like five minutes,” Niall said, sipping a pint. “Zayn’s still in the loo.” 

Louis stole the beer on the other side of the table, presumably Zayn’s, and said, “Some guy just tried to chat me up with the worst line ever.” 

Niall peeked over his shoulder at the bar. “Which guy?” 

“Tall, curly hair.” 

After a moment, Niall said, “You said no?” 

“Zayn’s setting me up with his coworker. I’m not gonna be flirting with someone else when he arrives; that’s rude,” he said. 

“Well, he’s not here yet and that guy’s fit,” Niall said. 

“He’s also kind of a jerk,” Louis said. “Zayn promised that his friend’s fit _and_ a great guy. I promised to give him a chance.” 

“He’s staring at you,” Niall said. 

“No, he’s not.” Louis whipped around and laughed when he saw the guy watching him intently. Frankly, he looked kind of creepy, like a murderous frog. “Oh my god, what a loser.” 

He was distracted from their weird eye contact when Zayn sat in the chair across from him and stole his beer back. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Louis said. “Where’s your friend?” 

“Should be here soon. Let me text him,” he said, and pulled out his phone. 

Niall said, “That guy’s coming over.” 

“Shut up,” Louis said, checking to find it was true. “Oh my god. Zayn, this desperate loser is stalking me.” 

“Who?” he said distractedly. 

“This guy. Watch. I already told him I have a boyfriend and he’s still coming over,” Louis said, and Zayn looked up just as the guy reached the table. 

“Hi,” Curly said. 

Louis kept his eyes on Zayn, who raised his eyebrows in amusement and took a long sip of beer. 

“I just realised I never asked your name,” the guy said. 

Louis kept his back to him and made him wait a full ten seconds before saying, “Bertha.” 

“Your name is Bertha?” 

“Yes,” Louis said, and smirked as Zayn snickered and Niall laughed. 

Curly didn’t reply, so Louis looked up at him expectantly. “Lovely name. Really suits you.” 

“Thank you,” Louis said primly. 

Next to him, Niall smiled and held out a hand. “I’m Niall.” 

The guy shook it, that dimpled grin making another appearance. “Nice to meet you, Niall.” 

Louis bristled a bit, reaching up to knock their hands (if it caused their grasp to break, so be it) and gestured toward Zayn. “And this is my boyfriend, Spike.” 

Curly-twat’s grin twisted into a smirk. “That’s your boyfriend?” 

“Yup.” Louis looked at Zayn, who shook his head slightly. 

“Spike?” the guy checked. 

Louis narrowed his eyes at him. “Yup.” 

The guy nodded for a moment, and then said, “So, Bertha, what are you drinking?” 

“Whatever Spike gets me,” he said. “Honey?” 

“Fuck off,” said Zayn. 

The guy tutted. “He doesn’t seem like a very generous lover.” 

“He keeps me satisfied,” Louis said. 

And the guy had the fucking nerve to say, “I bet I could do a much better job at that than him.” 

Louis scoffed at his gall. “Spike, are you hearing this?” 

“I’m trying not to,” Zayn said. 

“How about you let me buy you a drink?” Curly-twat said. 

“Why would I need a drink when you’re the thirsty one?” Louis retorted. “You know, it’s pretty sleazy to ask right in front of my boyfriend.” 

Curly-twat sighed in mock-repentance. “Zayn, is it alright with you if I buy him a drink?” 

“Only if you spit in it,” Zayn said. 

“Hey!” Louis protested, and then – wait a minute. “You know him?” 

“We work together,” Curly said, that smug, dumb, charming grin back in full force. “In fact, I’m here to meet him and his friend Louis. “ 

Louis shot Zayn a death glare, but he was too busy laughing to care. “Come on, mate,” Zayn cackled, grabbing Niall’s elbow and pulling him away from the table. Niall was laughing too, because Louis’ friends were arseholes, and they headed off to the bar, abandoning him in his time of need. 

Once they were alone, Curly took Niall's seat.“So, Bertha, do you know when Louis might arrive?” 

His cheeks were burning with embarrassment, but he straightened his spine and said, “No idea. Never heard of him.” 

“Oh, that’s a shame,” Curly said. “I saw him on Zayn’s instagram today and begged him to introduce me.” 

“That’s pretty stupid of you,” Louis said. 

“If you saw Louis you’d understand,” Curly said. “But I guess he ditched me, since he isn’t here.” 

“Who could blame him?” Louis said. 

The guy made a show of clutching his heart in pain. “Is it alright if I hang out with you, then?” 

Louis shrugged. “I suppose. Out of pity.” 

The guy smiled rather cutely. “Let me buy you a drink in return for your generosity.” 

“Corona,” Louis allowed. 

When the guy left to go up to the bar, Louis pulled up Instagram on his phone. Zayn’s feed usually consisted of art projects and moody selfies, and they hadn’t hung out since the previous weekend, when Louis had crashed at his flat after a night of partying. 

He groaned when he saw the post. It was a photo of Louis sitting on Zayn’s sofa in oversized pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt. He had a bowl of cereal in his lap and his hair was an absolute mess. The caption under it said, _just found out the hard way this cheeky twat put the empty box back in the cupboard! #revenge_

_This_ is what had caught Curly’s eye? His sleep-puffy face mugging for the camera as Zayn immortalised his epic bedhead? The guy was a true weirdo. Louis clicked off his phone and drummed his fingers on the table. A weirdo, for sure… but an extremely fit weirdo. His banter was on point, and Louis did love a man who could keep up with him. Besides, he’d promised Zayn that he would give his friend a chance. So it wasn’t even his choice, really; he basically _had_ to at least flirt a little. 

When Curly returned with beer, Louis smiled and thanked him, and the guy’s whole face lit up like a Christmas tree. “My pleasure. I’m Harry, by the way.” 

Louis looked at him through his eyelashes and said, “Thank you, Harry.” 

The guy, Harry, started to say something, but Louis cut him off. “I have a confession to make.” 

Harry bit his lip on a smile and nodded encouragingly. 

“Zayn’s not really my boyfriend.” 

Harry gasped. “Bertha, I trusted you.” 

Louis laughed and shook his head. “My name’s not really Bertha, either. I’m Louis.” 

“Are you?” Harry said suspiciously. “I don’t know what to believe anymore.” 

“I promise,” he said, “and actually, I’m completely single.” 

Just that quick, the smug-charming-sexy grin was back. “How long have you had that problem?” 

“I don’t know if I consider it a problem,” Louis lied. 

“Well, I do,” Harry said. “Huge problem. But maybe I can help fix it.” 

Louis hummed in consideration, letting his eyes drift over the broad expanse of Harry’s shoulders and down one muscular bicep. Harry flexed shamelessly, and Louis choked on his beer laughing. Once he caught his breath, he gave Harry a stern glare for nearly killing him, but Harry looked inordinately pleased with himself anyway. 

A fit guy who acted like buying him beer and making him laugh was some sort of great honour; maybe Louis didn’t have to stop being picky after all. In fact, he might become pickier than ever, because he was already sure that he couldn't settle for a boyfriend that didn’t have dimples. And curls. Curls were pretty essential, now that he thought of it. He didn’t say any of that to Harry, of course. Instead, he said, “We’ll see.”

**Author's Note:**

> title from Tokio Hotel's [Love Who Loves You Back](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HEvF8QLoYY)


End file.
